When the gap is small

My third boy was born just shy of his older brothers first birthday. For four days I had two under one but at totally different stages. Their older brother had turned three just one week before.

While I did hope to have kids fairly close in age, I never intended to have them all THAT close together, but that’s how our story went. After years of being told I was infertile, we had our boys back, to back, to back.

mini me Holy cow, it’s a mini me!

Raising babies together at different stages is tough. I was deep in the throws of potty training with one, while the other was taking his first steps and trying to get the newborn used to breastfeeding all at the same time. Life was overwhelming to put things mildly. My oldest took every opportunity to get into mischief while I was held hostage on the couch breastfeeding the youngest. One day he decided to help himself to some ice cream that he pulled out of the freezer and climbed onto the table to eat with his hands. I just let him, I was way too tired to care and at least I knew where he was and what he was doing.

The middle boy loved his little brother but was far too rough, I couldn’t leave them alone in the same room together. So no more getting things done while the baby napped in his bouncer. Speaking of naps though, I was was eventually able to get them all on the same napping schedule at one point so I could get an hour to myself. People marveled at this, wondering how did I do it? Basically, it was a life saving skill I’d worked hard at. I NEEDED that time to survive.

brosThe biggest bro with the littlest bro

Being home with three little ones made for long lonely days. I tried to get out with them, trust me I did, but it’s not easy with an energetic three year old and two non walkers. I tried to take the boys to a play group twice. Both times I drove home in tears. With one on my hip and the other in an infant car seat, I didn’t have any hands left to hold my oldests hand. This freedom meant for a nice run in the parking lot the first day. The next time we went he decided he didn’t want to leave. While all the other parents packed up their belongings and strolled out the door, I was chasing my kid around the room begging him to be a good boy and walk to the van with me. With just one or two kids, he would have been over my shoulder and out the door. Problem solved.

Needless to say, it was safer to stay home and watch dust collect on the furniture.

big caboose pmThe Big Caboose, I felt like I was driving a bus

But it gets better mamas, it does. The baby finally starts sleeping through the night and slowly but surely the sleep deprived fog starts to lift a little. The oldest starts entertaining his bros long enough for you to unload a dishwasher without someone crawling in and the middle one still hasn’t learned to walk without hitting his head off the walls, but being accident prone is just now part of his charm.

kissy facesBrotherly Love 

They quickly became the best of friends. When my youngest was a toddler we couldn’t keep him from climbing out of his crib to go visit his brothers at night. When we checked on them before heading to bed, we often found him sleeping on the floor in their room. It happened so much we put him in a big boy bed and moved him in there with them. Despite having a 4 bedroom house, we were only using two rooms lol All three of them preferred to share.

passed outWhy sleep in your bed when you can sleep on your brother’s floor

And as quickly as they came, they left. Kindergarten came quickly for all of them and then the house was silent. I savoured that last year with my youngest at home. He was the perfect age to take on outings and do activities with. I wish I had the one on one time with my middle child at some point. I had a year with my oldest when he was born on maternity leave and this year with my youngest when his brothers were at school, but not one day with my middle boy.

And while I do love the quiet house to work in during the day, I miss my little boys. I wish I was able to enjoy their babyhood more, I wish I wasn’t so exhausted that I wished the days away. Those first few years with three were the hardest years of my life, but while the days were long, the years were short and it was over before I knew it.

kindergarten boysMy Kindergarten Babies

Today the boys rush through the door from school and head to the basement to play video games together. They miss eachother throughout the day too. Like all siblings they fight. Especially when they are almost the same age, because they are into the same things. Keeping track of who’s pokemon is who’s is an impossible feat and a never ending argument. But they love each other fiercely and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Nothing makes my heart melt like listening to them whisper to each other in the dark before bed. Imagine having a sleep over with your bestie every night of the week? Life is sweet.

wrestling copy3 Little Monkeys…

Each day their independence grows and the teen years are lurking ahead. They only stay little for such a short and busy time. Those years my house was filled with babies, I felt like I was drowning, but without them I feel a little lost at sea.

hand holdingBest Friends

 

Comments

  1. Erinn Lishman says:

    I love that the small age gap between my girls (twins then a singleton 14 months later) also means they are best friends!

  2. Travelbuds says:

    I loved reading this. My 2 kids are 16 months apart and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The oldest is a boy and the younger a girl but they are best friends. They have the same friends and so do things in big groups. Your 3 boys look like lovely young children. You should be proud.

  3. Kim Tanti says:

    We had a hard time having children. I have been married for 36yrs now and never used any birthcontrol in all the years. Our first is 34 this year our son is 29 then we ere blessed just before the change in life. So I had a big change in life. She is now 13. Now our daughter is going threw the same thing so I am not a granny yet. Your boys are so beautiful and it looks like you did a wonderful job having them so close. I wish mine were closer in age but I don`t know if I could do it so close.WOW.

    • momvstheboys says:

      I know I wouldn’t have choosen the small age gap if I had the choice, but life threw us a curve ball! lol

  4. Elizabeth Matthiesen says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and it brought back so many memories of hectic days to me too. My first was 2 1/4 yrs old when my next was born and 2 days short of a year along came the next one. 28 mths later along came the next etc etc until I had my 7. True enough, my 2 girls who are so close in age but live on separate continents are the closest of all my children. Thank heavens we all have What’s app to shorten the distance as they are all scattered across 3 continents.

  5. kathy downey says:

    You should be called a Wonderwoman,omg i couldn t never have done all that.What blessed little boys to have a strong mom like you.

  6. What gorgeous handsome boys!! And so …boy… Wish my nephew had more… brotherly love to his sister, but maybe that’s just his way of showing it.

  7. I always thought I’d have kids close in age seeeing as my sister and I are 11 months apart. But my kids are 15 yrs apart. I’ve got one graduating high school while the other is about to start JK. (Same dad, seems like I need to add that as most people like to ask)

    You’ve got a fun bunch!

  8. mrdisco says:

    that’s one impressive stroller

  9. Anne Taylor says:

    I had a 7 year span between my two bio kids. I don’t think I would have survived your situation lol

  10. My boys are in the early teens… I wish you the best of luck in the years to come (enjoy them now, when they are still little boys)!

  11. Victoria Ess says:

    Aw they look so sweet together! Brotherly love indeed!

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