I remember story after story my dad would tell me about his childhood, how him and his brothers (he had 5 by the way, yes 5 brothers! see why I stopped trying for that girl??) would run out and play in the community all day, skate on the river behind their house and have so much carefree fun. When he and my mother raised me not a whole lot had changed, we lived in the same safe small community he was raised in and my friends lived close by. I was always touring the town with my BFF’s, walking to school a couple of blocks away and heading to the variety store for penny candies. I did any homework I had by myself and rules were few but I followed them.
Times Change
But so much has changed in terms of parenting, even though it wasn’t that long ago I was riding my bike through town, today parents are super protective of their young ones and are anxious to see them do well. Sometimes too anxious as Dr. Alex Russell and Tim Falconer point out in their new book Drop the Worry Ball.
About the Book
In an age of entitlement, where most kids think they deserve the best of everything, most parents are afraid of failing their children. Not only are they all too willing to provide every material comfort, they’ve also become overly involved in their children’s lives, becoming meddlesome managers, rather than sympathetic advocates. In Drop the Worry Ball, authors Alex Russell and Tim Falconer offer a refreshing approach to raising well-adjusted children—who are also independent and unafraid to make mistakes.
In this practical sensible book, parents will truly understand the dynamics between parents and their children, especially the tendency of children to recruit their parents to do too much for them. The book also counsels that failing—whether it’s a test, a course, or a tryout for a team—is a natural part of growing up, and not a sign of parental incompetence.
- Shows how to resist the pressure to become over involved in your child’s life
- How to retire as a gatekeeper or manager of your child’s life, and become a genuine source of support
- Build trusting relationships with teachers, coaches, camp counselors, and other authority figures—so they can play an effective role in your child’s life
- Understand problems such as ADHD, anxiety, and substance abuse
A guidebook for parenting courageously and responsibly—allowing your kids to be who they are while building structures that keep them safe—Drop the Worry Ball is a must for any parent who wishes to be and do their very best.
After Thoughts
Forget everything you’ve read so far about parenting, this book is the complete opposite. lol yes, really. The authors are well aware that parents today are over anxious and worry constantly about their childrens safety, well being, feelings, acedemics, etc etc…… bottom line- We love our children and we want them to succeed. But at what cost???
Dr Russell encourages parents to stop being that ‘helicopter parent’ who hovers over her children all the time and asks you to take a seat back on the park bench. If your ‘play ground’ is safe then there is no reason your kiddo can’t navigate through struggles and obstacles in life without you directing the way. I really appreciated all the real life examples and case studies of parents who mean well and try hard, parents like you, parents like me! There were times I was wondering how a parent could step back from a potentially harmful and devasting thing like drug use but in every circumstance the Dr. gave clear ideas on how it can be done effectively.
My boys are still really young and I like to think we are raising them to be independent and self sufficient. There are times I even feel a little guilty about not running into the room every time a fight breaks out or dashing outside every time I see one of them fall off the swing. But this is exactly the type of experience the book suggests your kids having. Let them go through life trial and error and experience hurt in a safe environment. Treat failing as a learning experience.
Who’s holding the worry ball in your family? you or your kids?
Win!
One lucky reader has a chance to read Drop the Worry Ball themselves! Enter Below
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Disclosure – I am participating in the Drop the Worry Ball by Mom Central Canada on behalf of Wiley & Sons Canada. I received compensation as a thank you for participating and for sharing my honest opinion. The opinions on this blog are my own.”
Big time – I could really use this book, lol
I have trouble with this every day, but I know how important it is!
Definitely!
Yes! It is a hard thing to do.
repose4jr at gmail dot com
I find it very difficult. It’s a daily challenge.
Yah it is hard. I want to be there and be in control because I know how to do it. I can help them succeed. Well those are my thoughts anyway. I sit back bite my nails and worry alot about how things will turn out for them but I know full well they have to make their own mistakes just like my parents let me make mine. I will always help them if they ask though 😀
I want my kids to succeed and it’s not in my nature to consciously let them fail but I try. I know that it’s all part of learning and growing into who they are meant to be. Sometimes failing is succeeding…
I found it is hard, but after the boy says “Mom, how did you know it wrong way?” I am saying because I know, every single day.
Most of the time yes!
I don`t have any children – but I know I would.
ontariohappychick at gmail dot com
I do find it hard to allow them to make choices especially if I think they may fail or get hurt.
yes it is hard as you do not wish for them to have a hard time but yes they need to learn
yes, especially with my 9 year old who has Aspergers
My son is still a toddler but I think I will find it difficult to let go and let him find his own path when he’s older.
rafflecopter: Lisa K
I find it hard – actually my daughter is on her first far away day as part of a birthday party for her close friend. I am thinking about it all day. But, you have to let them go sometimes.
I find it hard when it invloves others. Things in the house or alone… learning to cook, practicing a skill… those are fine. When it invloces others, I worry about them getting hut physically or emotionally.
Yes!! I worry way too much!! I find it very hard to sit back and watch at moments!
Yes it is very difficult at times.
I do. I want to shape my children’s futures
I am 50/50 or maybe in denial.
Space is Good..But very difficult at times.
I want to guide my children not Mold my children 🙂
It’s hard letting go to let your kids grow up. You always want to help them so they don’t fail, but if they don’t have a chance to fail they will never make it on their own.
nancyecdavis AT bellsouth DOT net
Yes I do find it hard. The more that I do it though, the more I see that they bounce back!
I do find it hard. I sometimes catch myself even trying to dictate who she should be friends with. And yes, I give my daughter all she wants.
Its easy for me to let my oldest learn on her own but youngest I find it hard to do that with
Oh definitely it is hard to step back. My parents did it with me though and I think I turned out OK. hehe!