I spent the afternoon showering, doing my hair and applying makeup – I was getting ready for a much anticipated night out. On my way out the door I give my husband a kiss. “Be good for Daddy boys” I tell the kids, say goodbye, and head into the city. My date tonight is a “mom date” with my good friend Kerrie. I’ve had more dates with Kerrie in the last year than I’ve probably had with my husband in the last 8, yes, since we had kids. She’s a fellow boymom, knows all the best restaurants and is one of the few people in my life that actually ‘gets’ my work in the online world. I don’t really think of our nights out as a date, but sitting in the dim light of the restaurant, with a wine glass in hand and a smile on my face, I realized from the outside looking in, it’s a date. Whether it’s a night out at the movies or dinner at our yummiest local restaurants, time with Kerrie is a small break from playing mom. It’s a time to unwind, share life’s up and downs with a friend, and a step out of my ordinary routine. While we still spend a fair bit of time talking about our boys, we are moms afterall, it’s also a time that reminds me that, I’m more than just a mom.
A few months back I had a ‘first date’ with a new friend. I know right? A new friend for someone in their late 30’s like me is practically an oxymoron, so this was a pretty big deal! We found ourselves enjoying a great chat and a glass of wine over Greek food and when our meal was over, we both agreed we didn’t want to head home just yet, so we headed out for ice cream. It should be a cardinal rule on a mom date that you can’t go home before all possibility of kids being awake and still sneaking out of their rooms to stall bedtime has been exhausted. Besides, Kaila’s husband had strict instructions not to return home before his planned show for the evening was over. Win-win.
Standing in line at the ice cream counter Kaila mentions her nut allergy and I make a mental note again to try to remember this. Then, as I was about to order a pecan mudslide, I wondered out loud how bad this allergy was, should I be picking something else? “Don’t worry I won’t be kissing you tonight” she answers. “Why not?” I respond, “I took you out for dinner!” and we share a good laugh. We chatted about thoughts and concerns that run through our minds raising young kids, swapped birthing stories and when the lights started to go out in the restaurant, we realized it was time to return home. Yup, this friendship was going to work!
My long term BFF lives 3 hours away. We met in highschool and have been tight ever since. Tammy and I have a relaxed and easy relationship that definitely withstands time and distance apart. We actually rarely talk and only occasionally correspond through facebook messages, but when we are together, it’s like we were never apart. When we catch up, we never waste the opportunity on family activities or even date nights with the husbands, our relationship is strictly for us! We delve back into a time when we were free of the burdens of running a household and pretend we’re 19 again! We shop all day, share fishbowl sized daiquiris over high calorie meals and talk about boys (and not the ones who’s butts I wipe back at home). Because Tammy’s girls are grown teens with jobs and drivers licenses, and I still have one in kindergarten, we aren’t in the same space at all in parenting and find we have much more fun reminiscing the past and planning the future than hashing out our day to day.
Different ladies, different friendships and each one reminds me to be me. To make time for myself, that in a house full of boys, it’s okay to be a girl and that friendships new and old deserve to be nurtured. I could never have imagined how hard it would be in my 30’s to keep and make friends. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it takes other women to raise a mom. A sisterhood of friends to grow and learn and laugh with. To the ladies that keep me sane, I thank you, and can’t wait for our next date!
That is a lovely picture of you and your friend, I sure wished I had a good friend to go out with once in awhile, mine all have gone and when I was working the hours I had made it impossible to have any friends at all. But it is nice to get out and just let loose and have fun with your friends, instead of being stuck in the same rut day in and day out!!
I definitely get into those ruts and there are times when it’s really hard to even drag myself out on a mom-date, but I always feel so much better when I come home. It’s so hard to make new friends and keep old ones when you are in this stage of life.
Its nice to get out and let loose for a few hours,just like being recharged
yup, just recharging the batteries!
Awe, great friendships are the best! I’m having a breakfast date with some of my friends tomorrow and I cannot wait. Some time to be me and visit with others is highly needed!!
breakfast dates are such a good idea!
I try to get out and do shopping or lunch with my gal pals when I can. It is nice to unwind and be a girl 🙂
Date nights with the girls are so needed!! I try to do it at least once a month with some mommies that have gotten me through 2 pregnancies and a 3 children!
awww that’s nice! We need to get together soon ourselves chicky!
It is so nice to get out for a girls day and catch up with friends. It is definitely something I try to do regularly even though life is so busy.
Life does get busy, it can be really hard to connect sometimes!
I love mom dates with my sister in law or my friend who lives out of town now (we always have a date when she’s in town!)
That was a very sweet post, I loved reading it. Yes we should all take the time to tend our friendships whether it’s through the mail, email, facebook, girl’s night out or what ever. I find it especially rewarding to meet up with friends of my school days (some 45-50 yrs ago), we can talk for hours and often do 🙂
that would be really fun to do! a little reunion once a year would be great!
aww mom dates are so important I love reading about great friendships, wonderful
I need a mom date….
Love this article – it’s so true “it takes other women to raise a mom” and I think the same goes for Dads.
definitely! Same goes for the Dads!
Mom dates are so wonderful! Nothing like taking a break to relax and enjoy a night out with a good friend.