My Journey to Motherhood #OHIP4IVF

I married my best friend when I was 27 years old. We always knew we wanted children,  and even though we had been dating for 5 years and living together for a year and a half, we still wanted some time to together to be a married couple before we started our family. We spent some time traveling to New York City, bought ourselves a house and settled in to our new life. Friends started having babies by the truck load, it seemed every month there was a new announcement and after hosting a baby shower at our house one afternoon, we knew we were ready to start filling our spare rooms up with cribs and change tables too.

As luck would have it, we became pregnant our first month trying! We were filled with joy and celebrated with a dinner out on the town, but the tears of joy were quickly replaced with tears of sorrow as I woke one morning to a significant amount of bleeding. We had miscarried and it was devastating. Doctors, lab techs and friends would tell us “at least you know you can get pregnant, you’ll be pregnant again in no time”

They were wrong.

Turns out, it wasn’t that easy. The next couple of months were filled with disappointment month after month as the pregnancy tests showed us our attempts were futile. We were trying everything, I was tracking my body each and every day with basal body temps and predicting the days of ovulation. Nothing worked. The fun and romance of starting a family was gone, eventually all that was left was stress.

After a year had gone by we were referred to a specialist. Finally, I thought, we would get some help. But already short on patience, the doctor didn’t seem to have the same urgency that we did and months and months went by again. My husband and I did tests at the hospital, each one coming back with good results. There didn’t seem to be an explanation as to why we weren’t conceiving. But we weren’t.

We were beyond frustrated. We were done; there had to be another way. Our doctor eventually talked to us about other options including IUI and IVF. With heavy hearts we considered the procedures carefully. Did we have the money to cover the costs?  Would money come between us and having a baby? One round of IVF costs $15,000 – this was no small change.  We had only been married a few short years, we didn’t have a huge safety net in terms of savings. Even one round of IVF would put us in debt and there was no guarantee that it would even work. The risk was huge. The unfairness of it all was insurmountable. While friends complained about the cost of diapers, we were facing this.

We decided to start with one, maybe two rounds of IUI which is a less expensive option and one that we could do in our hometown. We were asked to contact the doctors office the day my next period started and we would begin. Feeling defeated and hopeful at the same time, we waited.

Only my period never came. By some strange miracle my period never came that month and the pregnancy test results showed us one that we had not seen in a very very long time. It was positive.

With a track record like ours it was pretty hard to celebrate. We cautiously moved forward every single day waiting for the bottom to fall out. For the bleeding. For our dreams to be shattered. But each month met us with a fuller, rounder belly and eventually we knew we were going to make it. When I was 30 years old, I delivered a precious baby boy right in my very own bedroom! Yes, our entire journey was full of surprises but none as big as delivery so quickly we didn’t make it to the hospital and delivered our sweet boy at home!

And at that very moment, my entire world changed. I was a MOM. My prayers were answered, my life would never ever be the same.

Every woman deserves the right to be a Mother. Every man deserves the chance to be a Father. Every Canadian should have the right to a family.

With Mother’s Day coming up, I think back to the pain that day used to cause and send warm hugs and wishes to all the couples out there still trying. 

I hope and pray that the Ontario government makes the necessary changes to include IVF under OHIP. It makes sense, and could actually save the province money. There is a savings of $28-$38 million dollars annually by funding IVF, and reducing the money in health care spent on perinatal, post-natal and long term health care and social services for dealing with preterm, low weight and disabled children due to multiple births. 

For more information visit Conceivable Dreams

Follow @OHIP4IVF on Twitter or the hashtag #OHIP4IVF to support government funding for IVF.

 Disclosure:  I have been compensated for this blog post by Conceivable Dreams . However, all opinions expressed on this blog are my own and not influenced in any way.