Just in time for Canada Day, we’ve got the best Canadian Jokes for kids and adults alike!
Do your friends and family love a good joke? We sure do and you’ll find a ton of funny jokes for just about every season and holiday if you look under our kids activity section! They’ve been such a big hit for kids, parents and even teachers that it was definitely time to share some jokes about Canada, our home and native land!
After having a laugh with our cool Canadian jokes, also check out our post called You Know You’re a Canadian Mom When….
Funny Canadian Jokes
How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?
Say: Please get out the swimming pool.
Name the two seasons of Canada.
Winter, and July.
What did the excited tourist say on their first visit to Canada?
“Yukon see the northern lights from here!”
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why didn’t the Canadian make a joke about the American border?
They realized that would cross a line.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
Why did the weightlifter move to Prince Edward Island?
To get the best mussels!
Why was my Canadian friend who was in the timber business so muscular and strong?
He was lumber jacked!
What’s every Canadian’s favorite soap opera?
The Cold & The Beautiful.
What did the snow say to the Rocky Mountains?
I’ve got your covered.
Why shouldn’t curlers tell jokes on the ice?
Because it might crack up!
What should you call Canada when it fails at something?
You call it Can’tada!
What has antlers and sucks blood?
A moose-quito!
What’s a Canadian’s favorite letter?
Eh (A)
What song do partying Canadians sing?
“Who Let the Sled Dogs Out?”
What does Canada produce that no other country in the world produces?
Canadians.
What can jump higher than the CN Tower?
Nothing, the CN Tower can’t jump.
Why is maple syrup always so sad?
Because it’s sappy.
Why do Canadians love helping people in times of trouble?
Because they are Can-aid-ians.
In which way is the U.S. better than Canada?
It has nicer neighbours!
What’s a Canadian ghost’s favorite food?
Boo-tine!
Why are Canadian students so smart?
They get lots of ehs.
How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?
Take away its broom!
Why do hockey players like baking cakes?
Because they’re great at icing.
How do you get a Canadian to apologize?
Step on their foot.
Why didn’t the tourist want to visit the lake from the Canadian side of the border?
It was giving them an Erie feeling.
If you’re Canadian when you go into the washroom, and you’re Canadian when you come out of the washroom, then what are you when you are in the washroom?
European!
What did the angry Canadian say to the other Canadian?
Absolutely nothing, both of them were too polite for that.
What is the type of tire that fixes itself on its own without troubling the driver?
It is a Canadian tire.
How did the beaver bid farewell to the maple leaf tree?
He said, “It really has been nice gnawing you!”
Which Canadian city is full of fierce cats?
Vancougar
What did Victoria say to Vancouver?
I’ll BC-ing you later.
How does Canada respond to coin shortages in the U.S.?
We give them Nickelback.
Canada Puns
Whistler while you work!
I’m in a Huron to get to the airport.
Feeling a bit Superior today.
Yukon see the Northern lights from here!
Went to Tim Horton’s this morning for a latt-eh.
Isn’t it Trudeau?
Don’t go bacon my heart.
Canada wins best in snow.
There’s so much to CN do in Toronto.
Don’t go chasing Niagara Falls.
We’re having a part-eh!
You’re making a mountain out of a Molson.
Canadian weather is snow joke.
Canada is eh okay.
Why I Ottawa!
Having a Fundy time!
Don’t be such a Mount Royal pain in the ass!
The views here are unbe-leaf-able.
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s maple leaves.
More Jokes About Canada
In Canada the seasons are, almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
Whoever said, “Do the job right the first time and you’ll never have to do it again” never shoveled snow off a Canadian driveway.
Someone tried to sell me Canada. I was having Nunavut.
Every time I hear a mean joke about being Canadian, I go to the hospital and get my feelings checked for free.
The Canadian Space Agency is sending a spacecraft to the moon. They’re calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
My sister told me that she didn’t know the capital of Canada, I told her, “You Ottawa know it!”
Canadian tourist advertisement- This is the land where frostbite and sunburn happen in the same week.
I went to watch a boxing match in Canada…And a hockey game broke out!
My brother didn’t believe me when I told him the name of Canada’s prime minister. I replied, “You may not believe me, but it’s Trudeau!”
Did you know that Canada has a real hard water problem? Most of the time, it’s frozen.
I asked my tour guide to tell a funny joke about Canada. He responded, “I’m sorry, but I Canada think of any.”
Love our Canadian jokes? Give this list a pin for later!
Looking for Canada Day activities? Check these out!
Canada Day Dessert – Jell-O Swirl Ice Cream
Handprint Canadian Flag Craft – Such a cute keepsake!
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