Over 100 of the best animal jokes that will have the kids quacking up!
If you’ve got a kiddo that loves animals and loves to laugh (is there any other kind?) they’ll be sure to get a giggle out of these funny animal jokes geared to kids!
We’ve collected over 100 of the best jokes about animals, keep scrolling for silly jokes about cats and dogs, you’ll find them at the end!
Funny Animal Jokes for Kids
What does the lion say to his friends before a hunt?
Let us prey
How do pigs relax in summer?
In a ham-mock!
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court!
What did one flea say to the other flea?
Should we walk home or take a dog?
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish
What do you call a bear with no ears?
B!
What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
What’s the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick
Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside!
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear
What bird can be heard at mealtimes?
A swallow
What do you call a dead fly?
A flew.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
Did you hear the story about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks!
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
Ice berg-ers
Why does a rooster watch TV?
For Hen-tertainment!
How did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
The octopus was well armed.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
It’s jelly-button
Why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they have honeycombs
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
Which animal always cheats on tests?
A cheetah
Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
So he wouldn’t be spotted
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger?
He thought it was a lion!
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries
Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
Because they have lots of scales!
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
“Bison.”
What kind of ties do pigs wear?
Pig sties
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed!
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
What do you call a deer with no eyes?”
“No-eye-deer.”
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove she wasn’t chicken
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?
Big ones
Why did the lamb run over the cliff?
He didn’t see the ewe turn!
What do you call an alligator who is a thief?
A crookodile
What do you call an arctic cow?
An eski-moo!
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?
Itenticle
How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
What should you do if a bull charges you?
Pay him!
Why do birds fly south in the Fall?
Because it’s too far to walk.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant?
A gi-ant
What does a mixed-up hen lay?
Scrambled eggs
Where did the sheep get a hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart’s new?
What is the easiest way to count a herd of cows?
Use a cow-culator
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals!
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
What do fish take to stay alive?
Vitamin Sea
What is black and white and red all over?
A panda bear with a sunburn
What do ducks say when taking your order?
Waddle it be?
What’s a funny fish called?
A clownfish
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
Because it’ll hog the ball!
What do you call a hippo in a phone booth?
Stuck
What is ‘out of bounds’?
An exhausted kangaroo!
What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A box of quackers
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A Dino-snore
What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can’t hear you
Why did the dolphin cross the beach?
To get to the other tide
Why do fish swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
Jokes About Cats & Dogs
Animal jokes about everyone’s favourite pets!
What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower!
What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs!
Why did the dog lie in the shade?
He didn’t want to be a hot dog
What does a cat wear at night?
Pawjamas
Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a poodle
What is a cat’s favourite color?
Purr-ple
What do you call a dog magician?
A Labracadabrador
What kind of cars do dogs drive?
A Furrari
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in squares
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats
Which dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog
What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice
Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle?
Because dogs can’t whistle.
Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail?
To the retail store!
What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogger-pillars
Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.
What’s a dog’s favourite pizza?
Pupperoni
What animal has more lives than a cat?
Frogs, they croak every night!
What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
You’re purrr-fect for me.
What is a dog’s favorite city?
New Yorkie
What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
Cockerpoodledoo
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have 9 lives
What do you call a dog out in the cold?
A pupsicle
Why are dogs bad dancers?
Because they have two left feet
What is a cat’s favourite day of the week?
Caturday
What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice Crispies
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming
What breed of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle
What animals are the best pets?
Cats, because they are purr-fect
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That’s ruff!
What does a baby cat wear?
Diapurrs
What do you get when you cross a frog with a dog?
A croaker Spaniel
What type of market should you nev
Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?
Just kitten
What did the waiter tell the dog when he brought his dinner?
Bone Appetit!
What did the dalmation say after a big meal?
That hit the spots
What would a cat say if you stepped on it’s tail?
Me-Ow!
What is a dog’s favourite dessert?
Pup cakes
What’s a cat’s favourite dessert?
Mice cream cones
Did you love our funny Animal Jokes? For jokes about Bugs and Birds, see our Silly Spring Jokes!
For more silly jokes check out these
School Jokes
Star Wars Jokes
Superhero Jokes
Canadian Jokes
Sports Jokes
Plus! We have jokes for every season!
Hope our animal jokes made your kids laugh!
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