It’s Friday! As the week winds down, we gear up for another weekend of Big Brother’s swimming lessons. Normally this would be something I would look forward to all week, just like the kids, but after last week’s fiasco I’m secretly happy to be sitting this one out.
{Pre Pool}
We got there in good time and Big Brother happily smiled for his picture to be taken. He became the proud new owner of his first membership card. I took him over to the big window so he could see the pool and know what he was getting into. Big Brother was super excited to see all that water and all those “friends”, who to a 3 year old is anyone who comes close to his height and weight.
We entered the family change rooms when all of a sudden Big Brother does an about turn and starts bee lining it out the door and through the lobby! I chase after him and ask, “what happened????” Big Brother in all of his baby boy wisdom exclaims that there are ‘girls’ in there! Oh yes, at only 3 he’s noticing the difference between boys and girls and refused to change in there with girls. I manage to drag him back in and into one of the private changing stalls so no little girls were in site.
{Lessons Begin}
You know when kids get so hyper excited by something they go temporarily deaf with glee? They just get sucked into their own little world of happiness that they barely can contain themselves and have no idea what is going on around them. I’m pretty sure all they hear is bells ringing and angels singing their own euphoric song. This was Big Brother’s state last week.
He jumped right into that pool and began diving and splashing about, he nearly drowned in the first 2 seconds of getting wet. The instructor tried to get his 3 little students to sit nicely on one of the graduated steps into the water and then turned his back. Mistake #1. Big Brother starts jumping in described hyperactive glee and falls off the step into deep water. Near drowning #2 occurs, not 5 minutes in. This is not looking good, but they bring in reserves and a lady comes to help out. Basically what she turns out to be is restraints for my child.
Big Brother doesn’t listen at all and does this shock me?….YES!!!! Despite struggles with him at home he is a really good kid and generally does well with other adults. I could not believe that he wasn’t just soaking this whole thing right up. When the instructor told them to be ‘stiff as a board’ so he could float them around Big Brother flailed around wildly, splashing everyone in a 10- foot radius. I could just hear his little thoughts “stiff as a board? this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, you move like this” At one mortifying moment, way down at the other end of the pool I see Big Brother (who would not leave the toys alone) pick up a watering can and pour it over the ladies head!! Oh. no. you. didn’t!!!!! I didn’t know whether I should march down there and beat him senseless or bury my head under his towel and pretend he wasn’t mine.
Of course, there is always a princess in the crowd, which just made it all that much more embarrassing. While this petite diva bobbed and blew bubbles, her crowd of peeps happily oohhhed and aahhhed and clapped for her. I promptly sunk lower in my chair and wondered if I should throw something out there like ‘wonder who that bratty kid belongs too?”
{The Real Lesson}
Anyways, I’ve learned a few things and will arm my husband with my new knowledge for this week.
1. Wear sandals, apparently not even observing parents can wear footwear in the near vicinity which would have been good to know to avoid carrying my heeled boots and socks around.
2. Leave all bulky items like winter coats in the car
3. Use a locker. In all of Big Brother’s changing horror and hiding him away in the cubicle I failed to notice all of the lockers. Use one. This will free up the back pack and foot wear leaving you only with a towel, and 2 hands are better than 1.
No hands are a disaster, when in classic Big Brother style he begins a post event meltdown and promptly begins to cry and scream that he ‘wants to go back in’ and he ‘needs more swimming’. This is when you need both hands to carry Big Brother and run. Meanwhile, I proceeded with the bribes and threats of a rookie mom to gently coax him out of there without too much of a scene.
Here’s hoping the first experience was enough to settle him down and he will return this week with a calm understanding of what lies before him. If not, well, it’s Daddies turn!
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