Scare up some giggles for your goblins with this big, no HUGE list of Halloween Jokes for Kids!
The Big List of Halloween Jokes for Kids
Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: A lazy bone.
Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.
Q: Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A: Because they couldn’t find their bats.
Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-Bone
Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine”
Q: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A: A rattler.
Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogieman
Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs
Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.
Q: Who are cousins of the werewolf?
A: What-wolf and When-wolf
Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a campfire?
A: A toasty ghosty.
Q: What’s a ghosts favorite body of water?
A: Lake Eerie.
Q: Where do werewolves store their things?
A: In a were-house
Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a
Q: What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A: A hot dog.
Q: What do you call a werewolf that uses bad language?
A: A swearwolf
Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.
Q: What do werewolves read to their children before bed?
A: Hairy tails
Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti
Q: What do you call a foolish skeleton?
A: Bonehead.
Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.
Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’.
Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.
Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards
Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.
Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets.
Q: What should you do when zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween.
Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.
Q: What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
A: He got ticks.
Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor.
Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombieoni
Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy.
Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
A: At the ghost-ery store
Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick .
Q: What happened when the young witch misbehaved?
A: She was sent to her broom.
Q: Where do spirits go to send their mail?
A: The ghost office.
Q: When do skeletons laugh?
A: When something tickles their funny bones.
Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
A: Because he didn’t have a haunting license.
Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo-boos
Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.
Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.
Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
A: Boo-logna sandwiches
Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.
Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray
Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
A: Because he was great at drawing blood.
Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room.
Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A: Suckers
Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet.
Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.
Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.
Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
A: Roller ghosters.
Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
A: Dark with extra scream.
Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich.
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Ice-Scream.
Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.
Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
A: The Dead sea.
Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He has no guts.
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend
Q: What was the ghosts favorite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.
Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.
Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas.
Q: Where do vampire students eat their lunch?
A: In the casketeria.
Q: Where do most monsters live?
A: North and South Scare-olina
Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?
A: Monster trucks.
Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.
Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective?
A: Sherlock Moans
Q: Where do baby ghosts stay during the day?
A: Day-scare
Q: Which sport do vampires like to play the most?
A: Bat-minton.
Q: Why can’t skeleton musicians perform at church?
A: Because they have no organs.
Q: How can you make a witch itch?
A: Take out the W.
Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A: A blood hound.
Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie
Q: What was the ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek.
Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.
Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?
A: His Deady bear.
Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate most?
A: Life Savers.
Q: What did one zombie say after eating a comedian?
A: This tastes funny.
Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?
A: He heard they give out arms.
Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?
A: They wanted someone more lively.
Q: How do skeletons contact other skeletons?
A: They use a telebone.
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Hope these Halloween jokes tickled your funny bone!
Want to take them out haunting with you? Download the list!
Send these Halloween Jokes to school with your kiddo – Get the Free Printable for Halloween Lunchbox Jokes
Love Halloween? Decorate with these huge outdoor/indoor spiderwebs or this child-sized skeleton!
Moms- check out these Halloween shirts just for you!
What’s your Halloween Name? Find your new scary name with this Halloween Name Generator!
Love these jokes! The boys and I have been trying them out!
Wow what a great collection, thanks!
I had a very good chuckle at these, my grandkids will love them. Thanks for sharing 🙂
These certainly are funny,I will read them to the kids after School.
Oh, pooh. I didn’t see these until 10/30. I would have used them to open my classes. Students would’ve loved them (maybe). Some LD kids have a tough time with riddles. Thanks!
We love jokes around here! Check out our other holiday jokes like the Christmas or Winter ones for your class!