The Big List of Halloween Jokes for Kids

Scare up some giggles for your goblins with this big, no HUGE list of Halloween Jokes for Kids! 

The Big List of Halloween Jokes for Kids

Q: What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
A: A lazy bone.

Q: What do they teach in witching school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A: Because they couldn’t find their bats.

Q: Which musical instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-Bone

Q: What song do vampires hate?
A: “You Are My Sunshine”

Q: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A: A rattler.

Q: What type of monster loves dance music?
A: The boogieman

Q: What do skeletons order at restaurants?
A: Spare ribs

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.

Q: Who are cousins of the werewolf?
A: What-wolf and When-wolf

Q: What do you call a spirit who gets too close to a campfire?
A: A toasty ghosty.

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite body of water?
A: Lake Eerie.

Q: Where do werewolves store their things?
A: In a were-house

Q: What kind of makeup do witches wear?
A: Mas-scare-a

Q: What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A: A hot dog.

Q: What do you call a werewolf that uses bad language?
A: A swearwolf

Q: When does a ghost eat breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: What do werewolves read to their children before bed?
A: Hairy tails

Q: What do Italian ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti

Q: What do you call a foolish skeleton?
A: Bonehead.

Q: Why did the vampire like baseball?
A: Every night he got to turn into a bat.

Q: Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A: Because he was always goblin’.

Q: What tops off a monster’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.

Q: What do spirits send their friends while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
A: Because he couldn’t find any “body” to go with.

Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?
A: Zombeets.

Q: What should you do when zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween.

Q: Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball?
A: The bat.

Q: What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
A: He got ticks.

Q: How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: Which ghost lives in Town Hall?
A: The night-mayor.

Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?
A: A Zombieoni

Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
A: An itchy witchy.

Q: Where do ghosts buy their milk and eggs?
A: At the ghost-ery store

Q: Why did the traveling witch throw up?
A: She was broom sick .

Q: What happened when the young witch misbehaved?
A: She was sent to her broom.

Q: Where do spirits go to send their mail?
A: The ghost office.

Q: When do skeletons laugh?
A: When something tickles their funny bones.

Q: Why did the police officer arrest the ghost?
A: Because he didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo-boos

Q: Why do witches ride on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too expensive.

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.

Q: What do ghosts eat for lunch?
A: Boo-logna sandwiches

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q: What do witches put in their hair?
A: Scare spray

Q: Why was the vampire artist so famous?
A: Because he was great at drawing blood.

Q: Which room do ghost houses never have?
A: The living room.

Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and says quack-quack?
A: Count Duckula

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A: Suckers

Q: What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet.

Q: How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horror-scope.

Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Which building did the vampire visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: Which amusement park ride do ghosts like the most?
A: Roller ghosters.

Q: How do ghosts like their coffee?
A: Dark with extra scream.

Q: What do you call a witch in the desert?
A: The Sandwich.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
A: Ice-Scream.

Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: Where do ghosts like to swim?
A: The Dead sea.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He has no guts.

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend

Q: What was the ghosts favorite book?
A: Romeo and Ghouliet.

Q: What do you call witches that live together?
A: Broom mates.

Q: What do monkey ghosts like to eat?
A: Boonanas.

Q: Where do vampire students eat their lunch?
A: In the casketeria.

Q: Where do most monsters live?
A: North and South Scare-olina

Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?
A: Monster trucks.

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q: Who was the most famous ghost detective?
A: Sherlock Moans

Q: Where do baby ghosts stay during the day?
A: Day-scare

Q: Which sport do vampires like to play the most?
A: Bat-minton.

Q: Why can’t skeleton musicians perform at church?
A: Because they have no organs.

Q: How can you make a witch itch?
A: Take out the W.

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit.

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A: A blood hound.

Q: Where position did the goblin play in soccer?
A: Ghoul-ie

Q: What was the ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek.

Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.

Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?
A: His Deady bear.

Q: What kind of candy do zombies hate most?
A: Life Savers.

Q: What did one zombie say after eating a comedian?
A: This tastes funny.

Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?
A: He heard they give out arms.

Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?
A: They wanted someone more lively.

Q: How do skeletons contact other skeletons?
A: They use a telebone.

Hope these Halloween jokes tickled your funny bone!

Want  to take them out haunting with you? Download the list!

Send these Halloween Jokes to school with your kiddo – Get the Free Printable for Halloween Lunchbox Jokes

Love Halloween? Decorate with these huge outdoor/indoor spiderwebs or this child-sized skeleton!

Moms- check out these Halloween shirts just for you!